Santa and AI
As the year 2023 comes to a close, everybody is thinking about two things: AI and Santa Claus. Now I have a wild theory that the two actually go together. At the risk of sounding like a nutty conspiracy theorist, I think Santa has been using AI all along.
All this seasonal jazz about the North Pole, worker elves, reindeer and Santa coming down chimneys has all been a ruse to throw us off. I am sorry Virginia, but Santa has always used AI to pull off this otherwise impossible task called Christmas.
Let’s acknowledge that the jolly one is not above trickery. For years there has been widespread speculation that he employs a large team of look-alikes at an array of locations. The key point here, and I am sorry to point this out, is that Santa is willing to trick and deceive.
If you ever sat back, put emotions aside, and applied hard logic, the only way he could accomplish such a massive production and complex delivery was never through elves and reindeer. But with AI he can get it done.
There are really three phases. The first is to determine who has been naughty or nice. With AI technology it is possible to monitor everyone. Do you see the synergy between pushing smartphones as gifts and spying on people to determine if they have been good or bad?
Then phase two is the production of millions of toys. Sorry, this is just not possible in an old-fashioned workshop staffed by elves. But with modern machines and robots powered by AI, it can be done. No, this North Pole stuff is just to throw us off.
Phase three, delivery, is the trickiest part. How do you get all those toys to the right kids? With flying reindeer? No, it is an impossible task…unless you employ AI to solve it. Don’t forget he does this once everyone is off guard because they have fallen asleep.
The big worry has been that in the wrong hands, AI can be used for evil purposes. Fortunately, Santa has put it to good use. By the way, have you heard that Mrs. Claus is the brains of the operation? She holds a doctorate in nuclear engineering and is a thought leader in applying artificial intelligence. Santa was once one of her students.
We hope your smartphone reveals you as being nice and Santa and AI bring you everything you want this year.
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