First, let me apologize to anyone who has tried to visit our web site or blog over the last week. It turns out we were hacked and our web host shut us down. The good news is we are back and up and running.

But, let me ask if it is just me who has trouble understanding communication loaded with tech jargon? Here is an abbreviated version of the e-mail we received from our web host alerting us to the problem:

Hello,

When we conducted a routine scan for your account we found the following malicious or infected files.

/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/2010-weaver/functions.php
/public_html/blog/wp-content/themes/2010-weaver/js/jscolor/head.pl

(And 20 or so others)

As a result, we have suspended your website, to avoid problems for website visitors or other customers. Please remove the malicious code, through FTP or the file manager. Once you have taken the necessary actions please reply to this message, so that we can reactivate your website.

I would recommend you to follow the suggestions mentioned below:
1. Delete all the web files and republish your entire website from a clean copy of backup.
2. Change your account password and FTP password through the control panel.
3. Upgrade all the applications in your account to the latest version – this also applies to plugins, themes, modules, etc.
4. Remove unwanted FTP sub-users

If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.

Sincerely,

S.T.
Support Specialist

Am I the only guy who doesn’t know what an FTP is? And don’t you love the last sentence?

If you have any further questions, please update the Support Console.

I admit that when I started to read the routine phrase, If you have any questions, I anticipated it being followed with an insincere gesture like call this phone number that no one will answer. But, please update the support console, struck me as even worse.

If tech jargon is going to transform our language, I propose we update our classic phrases. For example:

Keep calm and update your Support Console

You’ve got to know when to hold and when to update your Support Console

When the going gets tough update your Support Console

If you can’t stand the heat update your Support Console

Keep your chin up and update your Support Console